WARNING: The pictures should be reasonably safe for work. If you want NSFW Moody-pics, you'll have to meet me inworld and ask. Nicely.
WARNING: Logorrheic. That means wordy to those of you with a California public-school education.
About a year ago, we were coming to the realization that I was just too broke to attend Yearly Kos 2007. But, on the site, they said that they were going to have the convention simultaneously in a virtual space called Second Life. I had heard of Second Life, in a "No thanks, I have a First Life" kind of way, but I wanted to meet people and help out, and the first Yearly Kos was history, and even Moody Loners want to make history sometimes.
The site urged me to set up a Second Life account early to register in-world.
Yes, I've discussed this before, at the end of May last year. But it's been a while, and people have joined here, and joined SL from here. Enough so that I'm getting confusion, here and in world.
So, let me take this opportunity to explain what's going on.
But first, mood music:
What's going on is, I'm playing a game. A game that may help us, together, to change the world - but still, when it comes down to it, a game. Strangely, the longtime D&D player seems to be one of the few people who doesn't have a problem understanding that.
Take this pink ribbon off my eyes - Why a female avatar?
Well, why not? There's some metagaming involved - people like and trust female avvies, and give them help and freebies. My daughter is up early with me, and often wants to play Barbie, and I can use my character to subtly influence the choices and messages that she gets about women, and learn what she's hearing and where she's hearing it from.
Oh, yeah. Those links would be slurls - web links that, instead of going to web pages, go to locations in Second Life. You may want a Second Life account and viewer to follow those.
And, well, after my daughter horked up my male avvie, I was kinda left with the female one.
Why a good-looking female avatar? Well, if it's worth doing, it's worth doing right. Besides, my wife and daughter wouldn't let me show my face in-world any other way. Shout-out and big thanks to Enticing Dancer inworld, who gave me my first nice shape and skin, still the base of my Netroots Nation Moody avatar "look".
I'll have to admit it came in handy when I found out that they wanted the registration fee for YKSL in Lindens - the currency of Second Life. It took me a month, but I managed to earn it stripping dancing in a club in Venice.
Yeah, looks like I'm the Summer Seale of the Left, huh? On the other hand, I try not to be offended at people while I'm actually av-naked.
Just your typical prototype - On Not Being Me. Some people use Second Life to augment who they are - do things and be like they are out here (or out in the Real World). Then, there are those of us that don't.
People that attend the San Francisco Bay Area Kossack meetups can tell you that my daughter is happy and outgoing, my wife is quiet and reserved, and Moody...well, hides in the back most of the time. You could say that I have issues with being social. It would be a lot like saying that there have been some minor ethical lapses in the Bush administration.
But, with a filter like the Moody Loner persona here on dKos, I can be not me, and this helps immensely with the social anxiety. When we add another layer on with Second Life, I find that it's possible to be social and something that can pass for outgoing in a dim light.
I can also use the filter to pursue things, like design and fashion, that I'm not necessarily interested in when it comes to the Real World. But I'll get into what I do in-world in the next section. Personally, I think Second Life is a godsend for those of us that can't, or won't, socialize normally. It has a ways to go, but just being able to dance without pain, to be able to chat and laugh with friends, to know that any situation I get into is a quick teleport out if it becomes too uncomfortable, puts me at an ease I've normally only found at a gaming table.
That's all that you'll let me be! - What I do in-world
So what do I do in-world? Well, the assumption, given my avvie, is that I have kinky cyber-sex with unsuspecting guys. We'll go into expectations in the next section, but as my daughter would say, "N! O!!"
Well, I like exploring, I'm in a group called SL Things to Do that sends me landmarks of fun and interesting places to see in Second Life. Many of them are simulations of real-world places, like the Costa Rica and Mexico sims – let's face it, that's about the only way I'll ever be able to afford to vacation in Costa Rica.
There are places like Al-Andalus, a recreation of a Moorish palace in 14th-century Granada, and other historical recrations like the Globe Theatre.
There are also places like Etopia Village, which offer a model of what things could be like and places like the Realm of the Fae in Metatheria or Svarga which are completely out of the imagination.
I also still write for Prim Perfect, which allows me not only to explore new sims and write about them, but also to write and learn about interior design and Second Life landscaping.
Much of my time is spent Protectoring and generally helping out at Celestial Requiem and the associated New York City sims, as well as running and helping out with security at Kumiko Mills' Villas on Villas.
And, you can always (well, usually) find me at Dancing Liberally on Friday evenings. You may have a chance of running into me at other Thinking Liberally events.
Guess I'm some kind of freak - Societal repercussions, SL "Crossdressing" and being "out".
So, how does this go over in Second Life? Well, while having an avatar of a different gender than one's typist is actually fairly common in SL, acceptance varies widely. Many people, if asked, will label it as crossdressing fetishists wanting to have kinky cybersex with unsuspecting guys, as I mention above. Of course, most of the horror and revulsion comes from guys looking for kinky cybersex...and just guess what gender the typists of many of the top escorts in SL are. :)
But there are issues with portraying a different gender that don't come up when your avatar is a robot, or a dragon, or a floating eyeball. I mean, I even had "Look, my typist is a guy" in my profile – until the club I was dancing at asked me to take it out.
The big question I always get is "Why are you pretending to be a woman?" To which I generally and helpfully reply, "Who's pretending?" I don't put a lot of effort into "passing", save for what makes the people I'm with comfortable, and usually not even that. Yet, I apparently do such a fine job being female that the confusion is bleeding over here.
A lot of how we're perceived, out here and in the World, is based on how we appear. You know that, intellectually, but you don't know it until you have a circle of friends and acquaintances that only know you by what your character looks like.
What I've succumbed to is making me numb - What I've learned about being female in SL. Well, the easy answer is Not a goddamn thing. I don't have to worry about how to fit a bra, what a period is like, will I get pregnant, why I'm not getting treated or paid equally. The last guy that preached to me how I needed to keep myself in submission got orbited.
On the other hand...
I've nearly been force-collared and "raped" in Gorean sims. I've had guys come into my house, naked, and refuse to leave. I've been called horrible things for refusing to have horrible things done to me, in public. I've taken my avatar's clothes off for money.
On the other hand...
I've gone out shopping with the girls and had no tension. Even when we were changing clothes. We've been able to let down our hair and talk, to the point where I am contractually obligated not to reveal the secrets of girl-talk. :) My excuse that I have no fashion or color sense is officially dead. And I can see why people would do this, and would start to think that the things that happen in-world are real.
Am I making myself clear? - Conclusion
Well, what has the year been like? I've learned that fiction can help change reality, that a filter works well the more it differs from reality, and that I seem reasonably proficient in portraying a vivacious young woman with boundary issues. Must be all the Sheryl Crow.
Oh, and I hope to be in Austin this year for Netroots Nation, but I'm still going to try to help out in-world. I hope to meet a lot of you there, or in-world, and you can always IM MoodyLoner Korobase and I'll do my best to help you get started.
And here are some links, if you want to try Second Life out for yourself.
Well, why not? There's some metagaming involved - people like and trust female avvies, and give them help and freebies. My daughter is up early with me, and often wants to play Barbie, and I can use my character to subtly influence the choices and messages that she gets about women, and learn what she's hearing and where she's hearing it from.
